2011 was a pretty big year for GatorAIDS. First and foremost the site was forced to re-open on June 1 after I was laid off from my job with Miniclip SA. Not long thereafter we were able to bloom into a community that I am pleased to say is still more alive than ever today in this, the final year of the world as we know it. Immediately following the layoff GatorAIDS was needlessly attacked by a handful of retards from Miniclip’s community which caused us to become ineligible to use Google AdSense as well as having false DMCA violation reports to be filed to Jelsoft, who provides our forum software, resulting in our site globally being down for a few days pending an explanation of the misunderstanding.
"From Miniclip with love."
And through all of this we are still alive today as a testament to just how resilient a group of old friends can be when banded together. We came forward and put on a live performance (CFMM: In 3D). We released a book (Nintendon’t). We were featured on industry-leading gaming blogs (Bitmob). I would like to extend a personal “fuck you” to each and every person who attempted to put us down and assume that we would stay there like beaten dogs. We are more than that, and despite adverse launch conditions we laughed with one another and produced dozens of memorable articles to share with the world. We are GatorAIDS, and we are here to stay.
We’re looking forward to 2012 with open minds and eager hearts. We’ve had six months to get our things together and we’re ready to go balls-out this year. In the meantime, here’s the best of what we produced in 2011. If you’re new to GatorAIDS or looking to share our site with your friends & family this update is the place to start!
Read more…
When “Pocket Monsters” was created by Japanese game designer Satoshi Tajiri in 1996 it was nothing more than a way for the designer to relive his childhood pastime of insect collecting and share it with the residents of his homeland. For all the options available in the original games it was still quite a linear adventure, and a simplistic one at that. Neophyte game developer Game Freak (directed by Tajiri) set out to produce the original two installments Red and Green, which became such a hit that Blue was also released. Never before had Game Freak produced a game so intricate and detailed, and mistakes were made to say the least. Programming oversights, data omissions, and lack of a proper error handling system eventually led to trainers getting lost in places that looked like this:
WHERE WE'RE GOING WE DON'T NEED EYES TO SEE.
Due to a lack of attention to finite details in their programming work, which is forgivable considering the sheer magnitude of their creation and this being their first time taking on such a venture, both the Japanese and North American releases of the original Pokemon games were riddled with glitches ranging from mildly amusing to downright terrifying. Here’s seven demons Game Freak unintentionally brought upon the world with their magnum opus.
Read more…
WARNING: This article contains pornographic images. The images have been censored but the content of this article may still be considered NSFW if you are reading this in a public or open environment. You have been warned.
If you’ve wasted any amount of time reading troll blogs or snark sites like Encyclopedia Dramatica you’ve probably come across the metaphor “[x] is about as retarded/insane as Chris-chan”. If you’ve wasted enough time then you know exactly who Chris-chan is. For those of you who don’t, I’ll introduce you to him. I apologize in advance.
Finding "the best" picture of Chris for the article opener was hard to do. Also yes, that's a diaper.
“Christian” Christopher “Ricardo” Weston Chandler (yes that is his full name), abbreviated by the subject as “CWC” and colloquially known as “Chris-chan” by trolls, is an unwitting Internet personality born on February 24th, 1982. He lives in Ruckersville, Virginia with his mother in a house that looks like something straight out of an episode of Hoarders 2: Hoard Harder (and according to trolls the Chandlers have been approached by A&E not once but twice to try and tape an episode of their show there) and is an autisic and self-absorbed, delusional manchild who mooches over $800 per month off of the government in disability benefits because he refuses to make any effort whatsoever to become a functioning member of society. Because he lives with his mother in a house that’s been paid off his monthly disability check is pure income… which goes straight to video games, McDonald’s, and blow-up anime sex dolls.
His “claim to fame” was an independent comic book called Sonichu, a story that originally focused on his dubiously original character of obvious shipping origin. Chris fancies himself a classy and talented artist and storyteller, which couldn’t be further from the point; his artwork looks like something a five year old would make and his storytelling ability hovers somewhere around “nonexistent”. Due to his obviously apparent mental inhibitions he’s what amounts to a kid trapped inside the body of a man, which sounds like the next shitty Adam Sandler film until you realize this is real life and not a second-rate movie starring an SNL alum far past his prime. Chris-chan has adult thoughts and desires and he’s expressed them through his artwork on a number of occasions. This article explores the six most fucked up things ushered forth into the world by his hand.
Read more…
About two years ago I was a guest editor on the now defunct website VitalViper.com where I maintained the weekly humor column 3 Years, 5 Months, & 2 Days in the Life Of Dracophile (don’t worry, if you’re interested in reading these articles they’ve all been reposted here on GatorAIDS and dated accordingly). One of the articles I claimed as a WIP but never had the chance to write was this very one. I resigned from the website rather unceremoniously due to personal reasons and took most of my article WIP’s with me; this particular one has sat at the bottom of my “ideas” list since then only because its subject matter isn’t something that I felt I could portray as “funny”. The article is more somber than anything, depressing if you’re in the right frame of mind, mostly because it’s a kind of “tour” of sorts of a large mall that is basically dead, and I mean dead. Aside from a Sears there’s literally nothing inside of Sunrise Mall; it’s about as hollow as a cheerleader’s skull.
THESE DOLPHINS ARE HOMELESS.
With that said I’ll still do my best to present this tour of a living-dead mall in a humorous light, though it’s kind of hard to do so when you’re explaining how grand a place where you spent your childhood used to be.
Read more…
Crystal Monsters
Developer: Gameloft
Platform: Nintendo DSi
Released: 2010
I have never expected anything from Gameloft (or France for that matter) and honestly all things considered I’ve just sort of ignored Europe as a whole. Gameloft is a developer better known for shoddy cell phone games so any and all ventures by them into the realm of the DSi are to be eyed with at least a little skeptical contempt. When I threw down the 5 dollars to purchase Crystal Monsters from the DSi store I was vaguely optimistic to say the least but mostly delusional from sleep deprivation, and easily attracted to colorful illustrations. I have only myself to blame. And Michel Guillemot.
And the Tetons.
Read more…
TOKYO, JAPAN (via GatorAIDS) — “Legendary” Pokemon Red and Blue cast member MissingNo was officially relieved of his duties by developer Game Freak with the North American release of Pokemon Black and White, officially ending his 15-year streak as a back-end crew member of the games. His Pokedex slot, #000, has been commandeered by the promotional Pokemon “Victini” effectively replacing the space occupied by the Red/Blue veteran. MissingNo, whose name is a truncated version of “Missing Number” (with accompanying Japanese name Ketsuban having the same literal translation), was perhaps most well known for his appearances at Cinnabar Island that fueled intense speculations and rumor mills in the budding Generation I online Pokemon communities. At the peak of his popularity MissingNo was featured in special segments of Nintendo Power‘s Pokemon Corner and the official Pokemon website with stark warnings to aspiring trainers mentioning his game-ruining “powers” which were later proven to be untrue by industrious researchers. [Editor's Note: The editorial staff at GatorAIDS cannot actually ascertain the gender of MissingNo so we have defaulted to the generic "he" to refer to it.]
And thus, a legend was born.
Read more…
No, I’m not about to rip into the (many) problems with the modern-day era of Pokemon. As much as I’d like to do that I don’t even know enough about Gold/Silver/Crystal to even begin to fabricate an argument higher in thought than “it sucks pretty bad”. This article is about a peculiar video of the same name, specifically the November 30th, 1999 episode of the show In Focus, a religiously charged broadcast that airs on WVCY TV30 in Wisconsin. This shoddy public access tape traveled all the way from Wisconsin down to the bowels of South Texas to meet me, like a stroke of destiny, in a Goodwill store. I always lurk the VHS section of any second-hand store because I have a knack for the awkwardly cringeworthy and that’s simply the place for the best pickins. Nestled in between a copy of The Land Before Time 45,713 and Popeye cartoons in Spanish lied this VHS – a simple black tape with a homemade type-written label reading “THE PROBLEM WITH POKEMON”. I bought it with a smile on my face knowing this would be superb, and it was.
Read more…
I was going to originally wait until next month to publish this article, but once the true weight of this piece made its presence clear in my head and wouldn’t LEAVE I decided it would be best to go ahead and write it. On Friday November 12th, 1999 a very peculiar event took place. A movie came out, actually – and no – I’m sorry Kevin Smith, this article is not about your movie Dogma even though it is quite hilarious; this article is about none other than Pokemon: The First Movie.
Read more…
Follow GatorAIDS