Merry Christmas from me and everyone at GatorAIDS. Or whatever. Surely that’s what I’m supposed to say on an update that goes up December 25th.
Proving that we exist solely to do nothing more than rip on Miniclip I’ll start this brief introduction off by pointing out that Miniclip’s mascot, a caricature of the CEO they affectionately call “Big Rob”, is the scariest fucking mascot in the history of global marketing. Seriously, just look at their fucking Christmas video. I bet you squirted a little in your pants, and not in a sexual way. That THING is horrifying. How a custom costume like that can be produced and not one person going “well now this is just pants-shittingly terrifying” boggles my fucking mind.
That voice. That… FACE. Big Rob rivals the kinds of crazy shit seen in Japanese horror films and surely once Miniclip has had enough of GatorAIDS collectively bashing them that creepy blood-soaked grin on Big Rob’s face will be the last thing me, Dracophile, Payton, or anyone else will ever see.
So, in true Christmas spirit I stole Miniclip’s Christmas video and remixed it into Roastmaster’s X-Mas Special. Enjoy the nightmare.
Sushi Go Round
Developer: Asylum Entertainment, Miniclip Ltd Platform: Nintendo DS Released: 2010
I love sushi. I can, do, and will eat me the hell out of some spicy tuna rolls if given the chance. When I say “I’m thinking sushi” I literally mean “I’m thinking sushi”, not “I’m thinking mediocre shitty games” like what describes this title. Sushi Go Round is literally almost enough of a reason to convince me never to eat my delicious raw fish ever again solely because of what a monotonous and tiresome ordeal this game really is. Five minutes is about all it took for me to grow to hate this game but for the sake of this article I forced myself to sit through much more of it and honestly I regret doing so; if I could rewind time I’d go spend my hour doing something more productive like watching Regular Show and writing love letters to Mordecai in my secret diary… but I digress.
At least I have an M3i Zero for my DS and I didn’t pay for my copy of this game so somehow I feel strangely vindicated for my suffering and that the joke isn’t on me but on the developers instead. Sushi Go Round was created by Miniclip, a company whose main products are animation programs and layoffs.
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