GatorAIDS

Here at GatorAIDS we strive to provide our readers with innovative concepts grounded in familiar territory. It’s what we do best. We make it our top priority not just to entertain, but to entertain in creative ways that will keep our readers hooked and returning to the site on a regular basis. Below you will find a complete listing of our content along with summaries and production statuses.

Auditory Hell: If it sounds bad, then you can read (and hear) a sample of it here. Auditory Hell is where bad music goes to rot and be disassembled and made fun of by snarky hipsters whose favorite bands wont exist for another 20 years.

Cutting Room Floor, The: Movies, actors, promos, and everything in between. If it’s a cinematic hate crime that should have been an Alan Smithee film or left on the cutting room floor altogether then it’ll turn up here.

Don’t Put That In Your Mouth: There’s a certain compulsion for people to put food and food products into their mouths; this desire is heightened when candy is involved. Don’t Put That In Your Mouth is a column about what its name implies, things masquerading as food that would be beneficial to your health if you did not put them in your mouth.

End of the Internet: This is it, the end of the line. You’ve reached the end of the Internet, turn back now or start over. If it happened online then it’s here at the end of the road. Commentary and observations on Internet culture, memes, furries, and more horrors of the World Wide Web await those who wander into this territory.

Game Graveyard, The: Reviews, previews, announcements, and “news”; the Game Graveyard has it all… if “all” is something that shouldn’t exist. If you’ve got a craving for the worst that developers and publishers have to offer look no further than the necromancer party taking place in this column for bad games, bad franchises, bad tie-ins, and more.

Kill Your TV, Man: Television is a load of crap these days. Every station airs nothing but different forms of the reality TV other channels are airing. You know we’re doing bad as a culture when the only decent thing on the air is Cutlery Corner. When the airwaves are full of trash it’s up to us to filter out the bad stuff and show it to you as a lesson on what not to do on TV.

Nobody Reads Books Anymore: Nobody reads books anymore, therefore nobody will probably read this column. If it exists in some tangible physical form (what the fuck is a book) you can pick it up here before it’s gone forever. A lot of crap gets published and floats around second-hand bookstores, here’s where it comes to die.

Toybox From Hell, The: Remember all those ugly dolls action figures you had as a kid? We bet you don’t remember how bizarre and sometimes freakishly terrifying they were. When there’s plastic crap afoot its pieces get stuck in the rug and promptly lodged in the vacuum of the toybox from hell. From ponies to soliders and whatever nightmarish Mr. Hands abominations lay in between Hell’s toybox chooses no favorites.

Breakroom’s Burning: Andre and Payton work in a big box retail store as petty stockers who deal with more than just idiot customers. Join the two co-hosts as they deviate from their workshop duties to save the world from a variety of ne’er-do-wells and bad guys in this Aqua Teen-esque animated series.

Gator Bites: Too lazy to read the content here at GatorAIDS? Fret not, lead columnist Dracophile is willing to deliver the punchlines of the best content on the site in a stand-up recapping form in Gator Bites. Relive your favorite content moments or get caught up on what you’ve missed in this series!

10 Years After: Relive the past “ten years after” the fads, styles, and entertainment of yesteryear with Dracophile’s appropriately titled column “10 Years After”. Where were you when Pokemon: The First Movie came out? What were your dreams and aspirations for the “Nickellennium”? Pack your bags and get your rose-tinted glasses, we’re going on a trip.

BattleBots Update: If the phrase “the lights are on, the box is locked” brings back fond memories for you then you’ll love what’s being stirred up in this column. BattleBots was both a sport and lifestyle in the early 2000′s and lately it’s been making a comeback on television. GatorAIDS is here to give you a play-by-play run through of the action with a heaping helping of lampooning to go along with it.

Excerpts From…: What do you get when you take a bunch of existing characters and write a story about ‘em? Fanfiction. Bad, terrible, awful fanfiction. Sometimes when it comes to the worst of the worst you just have to read it yourself with some narration and humor from the writers at GatorAIDS to help step you through the muck.

GatorAIDS Remembers: When someone near and dear to us passes on it’s hardly ever a time for uproarious laughter, but the least we can do is bid farewell to the departed with a heart full of good memories. It’s never easy for a writer to face the column GatorAIDS Remembers, so when they do brave that feat give them some special consideration, and take a moment of silence for the departed.

GatorAIDS Special: When we’re proud of an article but don’t quite know where it goes GatorAIDS Special acts as our catch-all category for our babies we don’t want to see left as drafts forever. It’s a pot luck of whatever is on the minds of our writing staff and there’s no one term to describe everything inside.

Nintendon’t: The Book: GatorAIDS columnist Dracophile wrote a book on bad video games. In this eponymous column you can check out samples and passages from the publication as well as learn where to get a copy of your own.

Trip Report: When we travel we return with souvenirs. Sometimes these can be tacky little crabs made out of seashells, but almost always they come in the form of stories, of which we’re pleased to share. Cross-country trips, convention reports, and wherever else the road leads to all end up here when one of our writers goes on a journey. Or drug trips too, we guess.

[TITLE GOES HERE]: The Movie: Filmed between 2004 and 2006, [TITLE GOES HERE] is a 60-minute film produced by GatorAIDS staff member FpS Ref1ex. Originally meant to be a sequel series to a discontinued show from another website [TITLE GOES HERE] quickly ballooned into an off-the-wall free association project full of short clips of everything from video game scenes, sketch comedy, outright randomness, and context-less quotes. Produced by Yellowteam Films and RFS Media Productions, 2009.

Customer Is Always Retarded, The: Retail hell; something every retail worker is familiar with. Not wishing to stand for it any longer columnist Shoe of All Cosmos, a GameStop employee, set out to document the sheer idiocy of the customers plaguing the store she worked at. Every retail store can identify with the morons trying to pay with a $100 five minutes after opening, but there’s just something about video game stores that draws in the absolute most retarded and depraved souls society has to offer…

GMO2: Video games are best enjoyed in social environments; one couch, some friends, a game, and drinks all around. From the worst games to the most obscure and quirky GMO2 picks up handfuls of bizarre titles ripe for some good old fashioned MST3K’ing. Join the ever-growing and changing cast for rounds of laughs as they use the magic of friendship to overcome the obstacles in games for every system.

Pokeymawn: Pokemon is a series that has been on TV for far too long, and has run long enough that playing catch up with it is impossible. If there were only some show out there that cut the series down into smaller bits and sped the damn thing up… oh, wait, there is. It’s called Pokeymawn and it’s right here on GatorAIDS!

YouTube Bargain Bin: Part commentary, part skits, 100% comedy. YouTube Bargain Bin is a half-hour show that collects  a menagerie of clips focused around a specific theme and blasts them with gags and humor as well as re-enactments and skits based off of the videos showcased in each episode.