Below is a “final draft” version of the entry for Make My Video: Marky Mark & The Funky Bunch as it is scheduled to appear in the book Nintendon’t: 25 of the Worst Video Games Ever Made.
I have a love/hate relationship not just with this Sega CD game series but with Mark Wahlberg in general. I’d like to say that he’s simply yet another generic rapper-turned-actor, an actor whose entire career started because he refused to join New Kids On The Block and instead chose to rap about Sunkist orange soda without a shirt on, but I’m pretty sure if I said that aloud and actually meant it “Marky” Mark Wahlberg himself would hunt me down and beat my ass. Mark Walhberg’s rap career is something he flaunted like crazy when his debut album Music for the People was selling like hotcakes but now that he’s admittedly “grown up” Wahlberg has actually gone on the record to express his disdain for his previous musical endeavors, and for that I commend him. He lived like everything he was not in the 1990’s (or rather, in his words, “nineteen ninety motherfucking two”) and once he pulled his head out of his ass he admitted his wrong doings, starred in a few movies, and then threatened to beat up Saturday Night Live’s Andy Samberg because of his Mark Wahlberg impressions. Great guy all around.
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Nintendon't: The Book
crap, mark wahlberg, music, Nintendon't: The Book, sega cd
Below is another rough draft sample of one of the entries of the Nintendon’t project.
Konami is a company so ingrained in the history of gaming with so many hit titles to their name that you can’t venture out into the gaming world without hearing of their endeavors. Whether it’s in regards to their Castlevania or Metal Gear franchises or their establishment of the Ultra Games “company” in the 1980’s to creatively circumvent Nintendo’s third party licensing restriction not much can be said about Konami that isn’t positive, except for whatever you can conjure about Rock Revolution.
Konami, and their extension company Bemani (a portmanteau of BeatMania, one of their most successful music-based arcade games), are responsible for some of the most successful and iconic music-based video games ever conceived. Speaking locally and generally Dance Dance Revolution is perhaps the franchise you might be most familiar with, but Konami has been responsible for so much more (mostly overseas). Unfortunately, though, not everything they produce can be a winner, what with the original incarnation of American Idol on the PlayStation 2 being nothing more than a timed button masher and also with the train wreck that is Rock Revolution, the subject of this entry in Nintendon’t.
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Nintendon't: The Book
books, crap, guitar hero, konami, Nintendon't: The Book, rock revolution
Nintendon’t is a project of mine that first came into fruition in 2008 as a little back burner topic that I plugged away at off and on for about two years. The idea was to find 20 or 25 or 50 (etc) of the worst games released and just give them hell, something that has no doubt been done before, but instead of focusing on the obvious candidates of E.T. and those wacky Legend of Zelda games for the CDi I wanted to pick X number of games that people either aren’t very familiar with or are titles that were received well that are actually quite awful. There is no real set release date for the book, it’s just something I’ve kept at for a long time (and something I’ve written and rewritten the preface for many times along with several of the list’s inclusions). Below is #25, Super Mario Bros 2 USA.
There are two kinds of people in this world: those who hate Super Mario Bros 2 and those who are too caught up in believing everything Nintendo makes is a winner that they grudgingly accept that it was a “good game”. Thankfully with the advent of games like Mario Party 49 and Mario & Sonic & Other Former Franchise Rivals at the Olympics there aren’t too many people in the latter group.
I hated this game; this game cultivated an ENTIRE EMOTION in my persona. It was the first game I ever actually can remember not liking so much that it formed my initial concept of extreme dislike so it seems only appropriate to begin my list with this title.
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Nintendon't: The Book
books, crap, japan, nes, Nintendon't: The Book, super mario bros
